COAL MINER

EDWARD WRIGHT died to day April 18, 2005 while emailing a client. Edward, unbeknownst to him, but emailed by him, quite commonly, had esophogial cancer. He informed all his clients as he harvested them. He often told his clients of his great struggle in Third World Hospitals and his inability to write emails every day but somehow he manged to pound the keys and get the job done.

You see, Edward, was a Nigerian Email Scammer. Apparently he had millions in diamonds and even more in cash that he needed help moving around through various banks in various countries. He lived with his wife, Omoalis, and his two children, Emerus and Jack. Jack, being the oldest was being trained at the time of his father's death. Even he was unaware of his father's real name when it came time to fill out his obituary. His son was only able to gather his father's greatest traits by reading the replies of his scams. Ususally the first of the emails. Definitely not the latter.

Not much was known about Edward. His English was as poor as he. He lived in a modest surroundings which greatly refelected his seeming inability to gather any sort of income through his ventures. In fact, he lost a total of $1,463.98 in phone calls and mailed documents. But there he was, on a cot in Nigeria, dying of the very ailment he claimed to have been stricken with for he past ten years. His inability to talk moved his son Jack up the ranks to Head Communicator since his English was best. Not best used. But better than others. Seymour Butts was the last to communicate with the now deceased Ed. "I don't know, I really looked forward to his emails every day. They made me laugh. You know?"

It's hard to say if he will be missed. According to the last emails of 138 clients, "I hope you die of your esophogial cancer and go to hell."

The first, yes. The latter, well, we're not quite sure.